“Breakaway”Some may see me as strong, but it doesn’t mean I don’t have days where I feel like I’m breaking down on the inside. Some see me as a positive inspiration, but it doesn’t change the fact that I have moments where despair seems to fall on me like a heavy rainstorm. These days, fighters and caregivers of life threatening illnesses such as cancer seem to be the more common role to play. In the ‘here and now’ for someone facing cancer either as a fighter or a caregiver, there is no room for unsolicited prescriptions on how to live, for any presumed politics that supposedly surface cause and effect, for having a certain level of devotion as a person of faith, for being told that ‘you just have to be strong,’ or you have to be anything. Emotions simply ebb and flow. Setbacks and breakthroughs both happen. It’s almost, at times, like getting to befriend someone you love all over again because that special person has another identity traversing through these trying times. Thankfully, there are many resources including support groups to remind us that we are not alone, and that there are more encouraging ways to listen by simply not talking but rather being in one’s presence. It’s just not so easy all the time for anyone - even those we regard as superheroes in their own right. God knows i’m doing my best, and hoping to just breakaway to the other side as someone better equipped to be there for others.
© Ramon Nayar. All Rights Reserved.
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