“Resting Heart Rates”
One form of polite frustration can be when you wish the ones you love wouldn’t struggle to find the kind of calm that comes with a good night’s slumber. My reflections these past several weeks have had nothing to do with my cancer journey but rather my father’s unexpected late stage, incurable diagnosis. It’s been a whirlwind, but perhaps the dust can settle with knowing that our focus now is to just help my father feel comfortable and at peace. But that’s not to say that I haven’t been grieving for and honoring my parents at the same time. Healthy outlets previously proven to handle the stress of it all include writing music, volunteering, attending caregiver support groups, and just finding moments to lighten the mood such as the on call nurse taking a picture of my dad sporting a gracious grin. And of course there are the solo swims, the thousands of pushups, the late night air bike interludes, and all the routines of core to just feel a different kind of sore than this ache in my heart. How grateful am I for a body that can be in motion and then recover with a stillness that lets me savor each recovering moment thereafter?! Resting heart rates aside, deep breaths and knowing that I’m doing my very best allows me to take this journey one day at a time...
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© Ramon Nayar. All Rights Reserved.
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